Life Advice
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Asking Eric: Friend left out of burial plans but still grieving
Dear Eric: This question may be way off base, but is there a way to find out if a Celebration of Life is going to be held? A very dear friend passed away last fall and was laid to rest.
Sadly, nobody contacted me as to when the burial was because I had to move from our home.
I'm trying to move on, but closure may be affecting me. I have no ill...Read more
Partner Pushes For No Birth Control
DEAR HARRIETTE: My current form of birth control is about to expire, and my partner does not want me to renew it. He knew this time was coming, but it feels like he deliberately waited until just a few days prior to my procedure to tell me he doesn't want me to renew my birth control. It feels as though if I move forward with the procedure, my ...Read more
Does The Whole Queue Get A Say In Letting Someone Cut?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: At times, a grocery checkout line will be very long, with only one cashier available. Someone with a full cart, three or four customers ahead of me, will offer a customer approaching the long line with only a couple of items permission to go ahead of them. They thereby award the same permission on behalf of all customers ...Read more
Couple's Relationship Teeters Above Oblivion
DEAR ABBY: I am in a relationship with my hot-and-cold fiance. I caught him cheating after we moved in together. He had been courting someone at work. I eventually forgave him. That was five years ago. In the time since, he has changed completely -- for the worse.
He doesn't take me out, shows me no affection and rarely talks to me about ...Read more
Asking Eric: Friend has only unkind things to say about surgery results
Dear Eric: Several years ago, after I had a basal cell carcinoma removed from my nose and had some reparative work done, my husband and I visited a long-time acquaintance. She looked at me and said, “oh, I guess that’s the best he could do.” Yikes.
I spoke to her (after the shock wore off) and she refused to apologize and even asked me ...Read more
Boyfriend Proposes At Friend's Wedding
DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend proposed to me at my best friend's wedding, and I am livid at him for thinking that I would like this type of proposal. It was such a distasteful idea on his part, because I am the type of person who hates to take away attention from people when it's their special day. My boyfriend did ask permission from my best ...Read more
Hosting Your Own Baby Shower
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son and daughter-in-law are expecting their first child. I broke the happy news to my best friend by telling her she would soon receive an invitation from them to their baby shower.
Instead of being excited and congratulatory, she huffed and said that expectant mothers were not supposed to throw themselves a shower. She ...Read more
The Gift -- and Challenge -- of Having Two Cultures
Dear Annie: My mother is German, and my father is American. Growing up, I was raised with traditions from both cultures, but I have never felt fully part of either one.
Last Christmas, my mother made a traditional German dinner and invited several relatives. I tried to join the conversation, but my German is not fluent, and everyone kept ...Read more
Husband Is Carrying The World On His Shoulders
DEAR ABBY: I have been with my wife for 17 years. We have three daughters. She doesn't work, doesn't have a driver's license, doesn't clean and rarely cooks. I often find myself so frustrated at her lack of commitment to the family that I drink and go to bed after I cook dinner.
I work 60 hours a week to provide for our family and am not ...Read more
Millennial Life: The Spaces Between Calls
I went on my fifth police ride-along this week. The first one was before I was elected, slightly on a whim. I put in for both the city police and the university police. The university emailed me back faster.
That day we patrolled the university land, much more expansive than I knew, even having worked there for years. The patrol officer mainly ...Read more
Asking Eric: Gift-giver wonders about the donation etiquette
Dear Eric: When attending a celebration and the invitation states “No gifts, please, but feel free to donate to the organization which greatly impacted the health and life of the honoree,” do you include any mention of your donation in a card you might bring with your best wishes?
– Happy Celebrant
Dear Celebrant: Yes, for two reasons (...Read more
Can Opposite Partners Find Adventure Together?
Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 15 years, and we agree on most things except how to spend our free time. I love to travel. Even a long weekend in a new city makes me feel excited and alive. I enjoy planning the itinerary, trying local restaurants and coming home with stories and memories. My husband would rather stay home, ...Read more
Ex's Passing Is Just A Reminder That He Was A Jerk
DEAR ABBY: After a nearly 20-year marriage, my first husband, "Lloyd," told me his feelings for me had changed. He said we needed "some time apart," but he didn't want a divorce. He immediately went to a lawyer and executed a financial settlement for me, still insisting he wasn't going to file for divorce. Six weeks later, I bought a house and ...Read more
Asking Eric: Mother-in-law encourages husband’s problem drinking
Dear Eric: My husband has struggled with problem drinking for years. At different points over the past several years, he has suffered legal consequences and lost a job.
After a recent hospital stay, he stopped drinking for many months. Just recently, he has started to drink again, he claims “just here and there.” It is bothering me and ...Read more
Not-Boyfriend Doesn't Want To Make Birthday Effort
DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been going out with a guy for a few months. We aren't anything official yet, but my birthday is coming up, and he asked me what I want for my birthday. I said I wanted a surprise. When I said "surprise," I was thinking that he would take me to a cute restaurant or ask me what I've been wanting to do around New York City, ...Read more
Next Time, Address Her As 'mrs. Judgy Better-Than-You'
DEAR MISS MANNERS: We received a wedding invitation for a wedding from my husband's nephew and bride-to-be. The attire for the occasion is described as: "black tie optional. Elegant, coastal chic. We ask that men wear jackets."
It is clear what my husband should wear, but do you have a suggestion for me to fulfill "elegant, coastal chic"? The ...Read more
Bothered by Bad Breath
Dear Annie: I have been married to my husband for over 50 years. While we are physically unable to have sexual relations due to several health factors, I'm not missing it. Why? Because he has terrible hygiene practices and the biggest is not brushing his teeth enough. He has horrible halitosis now.
I can barely manage to travel short distances ...Read more
Long-Suffering Wife And Mother Is Ready To Move On
DEAR ABBY: I am living in total dysfunction with my daughter (32) and husband (75). I am retired and going on 76. My daughter will not work and is controlling my life. She has OCD and refuses medication. It's so bad that she has become completely dependent on me. She makes me drive her and yells at me while I do. If she doesn't get her way, she ...Read more
Asking Eric: Kids moved away; parents unsure about following
Dear Eric: My spouse and I are in our late 60s. Our two kids are in their late 30s. Two years ago our oldest moved more than 2,100 miles away with our two grandkids. They had been talking about it for a while.
Then, out of the blue, our youngest child moved more than 800 miles away six months later.
We don’t have much family near us. We are ...Read more
After Separating Accounts, Dad Asks For Financial Help
DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently went to the bank with my dad to finally separate our accounts. He opened my account for me when I was in high school, and now that I'm a working professional, I felt it was time to have full independence. During the process, the teller shared details about my account balance in front of him, which made me uncomfortable...Read more
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